I'm looking at the first daily message from Jan Johnson. My mom gave me this book 15 years ago and I wonder at the heart of it if I changed in that time? I've tried to give it away a few times, but it's always been given back to me!
How many years. How many books. How many websites...blogs, online programs. How many diets and conversations. Desires but not actions. Starts without finishing strong. Broken relationships. Working through things is not a quick process.
I recently picked up another book on self improvement in 6 weeks. Written by a mom of 7. As a mom of 3, I found I did not have the wherewithall to make it past the first day's suggestion before it was due back at the library. So I praise that the other mom has been blessed in those ways, but am still hungry for what she "seems" to have accomplished.
We work on issues daily, several times a day.
Strength, hope, spiritual awakening, a meaningful life, joy, freedom - Hungry
Safety, security, trust, freedom - Hungry
Hunger for more has been a problem since the beginning.
Am I loved as I am? I'm hungry.
Am I valued in spite of my lack to control clutter in my home? I'm hungry.
In spite of my not losing the baby weight from 4 years ago or so? I'm hungry
Do my friends love my outward actions or my inward protected soft self? I'm hungry.
No one can portray unconditional love -but God - and as I was discussing with a friend earlier this week, why do I not turn to Him knowing this? Why do I look to food? To my husband? to friends? To activities? Hungry
Jan says that part of recovery is knowing God better, finding out what He is really like.
Is the core issue trust? Or in this life are we always supposed to be somewhat hungry?
http://www.janjohnson.org/
No comments:
Post a Comment