We don't seem to ever want to surrender life to the afterlife. We grieve and feel the loss of the person in our lives while attempting to change it to celebration that we were together on the road for the time we were.
I am hungering for these people - missing them before they are even gone.
One now in bed, with hospice - pain medications taking her in and out of consciousness. Watching her family come in from across the country to say good-bye. There are even times for reconciliations.
One closer to our family, even...getting older. You don't reach this age without realizing that there may not be many years left. Surgery on Monday with Intensive Care to follow and prayerful weeks of healing, if all goes well.
I grieve already and find myself dying of thirst - in part because I forget to seek the living water that quenches all thirst. In part because I forget to drink it.
"I am more than partly at fault for how I feel, for my eating disorder - I have isolated, I have tried to work it out on my own; I have misled others about my problem" I am guilty. Jan Johnson
So here today in the midst of worry and grieving _ I find myself seeking fullness and satisfaction.
Trying to remember that God takes care of me even when I mess up. Even though I am guilty, God can rescue me. God can fill me up. He loves me because He's faithful, not beause I am innocent.
God - please fill me up these days to overflowing that I might be your vessel of comfort and hope in you to all I touch. Keep me focused on the tasks that you have for me.
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